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Why a Christian Dating a Non-Christian is Wrong

Written by vpameena

One major controversial issue has been whether a Christian dating a non-Christian is such a big deal or not. Many who argue on this are often people in love with a non-believer. In most cases it plays like this-

You just met this one person you really like and you starting to make compromises on some spiritual and physical traits you were originally on the look for.

But now you are thinking if this is all right in the sight of God or of man. The thoughts become stronger if you are someone who grew up in the church or has a church background.

I’m pretty sure you must have heard people say that Christians should not marry non-Christians. And since dating is the first step toward marriage, it means that Christians should not date non0 Christians either.

Too bad a lot of people today see this ideal rather than the norm. I have encountered and had chats with countless believers who- when times got them lonely or was hard on them-neglected that rule and began a love relationship with an unbeliever. “What harm could it cause,” they wonder. “My girlfriend acts more like a Christian than all of my Christian friends do”, they say.

And as sad as it may be, this is true in most cases, but being a Christian is about so much more than just being somebody who is morally upright. Being a true believer means that your relationship with God has clearly, absolutely and entirely changed your life. It means that you are now a new person, your old pleasure headed self is DEAD.

If you have accepted the lord with all your heart, believe you are a believer and profess your relationship with Jesus Christ; there is no denying that doing what is right in HIS sight is what your heart will yearn for always.

Your relationship with CHRIST JESUS is one that will shape your beliefs, your identity, affect your choices and guide the entire purpose of your life. It’s a relationship that, according to the Bible, will not just change you from the inside out, but will re-create you.

When you enter DISCIPLESHIP with Jesus, you’re not simply a “better YOU”, you are wholly and absolutely made ANEW CREATURE.


what does the bible say about dating a non believer

Falling in love with a non-believer happens to many people but what you decide to do afterwards solely depend on you. The scriptures already warned us to not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. That I believe is simple to understand enough.

If you have already gotten involved and want to leave such a relationship. Here’s how:

How to break up with a non-believer

  • Tell it to God in the place of prayer
  • Create a time to meet with the other person in a public place.
  • Be honest and tell him/her why you cannot continue
  • Pray for them
  • Tell God of your courageous move and that he should strengthen you against the will of GOING BACK.

I know the topic is focused on dating, not marriage but I’m going to talk about it anyway because the reason behind dating should be marriage. You might not have thought about this but it is the truth.

Why a Christian Dating a Non-Christian is Wrong


In marriage, you are choosing to fuse your spirit, mind, body and soul with another human being (See 2 Corinthians 6:14-17). You are joining your hearts, your bodies and very minds in a sacred and intimate connection.

For Christians, this oneness (or union) cannot truly take place with a partner outside of relationship with Jesus Christ, because true “oneness” is something that cannot be faked, or forced; it’s supernatural. The NATURAL mind cannot comprehend this.

In the end, you will agree with me that there can never be a replacement for the deep intimacy that is experienced when you are spiritually, physically and spiritually connected to another human being.

Don’t try to cut corners or sell yourself short as a result of desperation and fear you have allowed to set in, but instead, move toward God’s promises in faith.


For Christians, marriage is far bigger than companionship. It’s about the revelation of God’s glorious work through our relationship (Ephesians 5:31-33). Marriage really is a glorious show of Christ and the Church- of sacrifice, and laying down our lives for Christ and for one another.

If we’re not looking at marriage with this purpose in mind, we do actually not understand what marriage is all about.

As John Piper so eloquently says, “Marriage exists ultimately to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and His church. If you are married, that is why you’re married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream!”

When we choose to ignore this fact and redefine marriage on our own terms through our actions, we miss out on experiencing marriage in the intimate, holy, God-honoring way HE purposed it to be experienced.


When I counsel people, I add that our present day modern psychology points to the advantages of being married to someone with whom you are “spiritually in-sync” with.

Spirituality and faith are very vital factors in our lives and those who have them in common tend to have a lower chance of divorce. This statistics is true and is applicable in every religion in the world because having this integral part of OUR SELVES in common with another is similar to a string that binds two people together.

But beyond and above the strings of “commonality”, believers in Christ are held together by a greater force: the Holy Spirit of God who breathes, lives and work with us, in us and through us.

According to Mark 10:9, those who are united in Spirit cannot be separated. The scripture also confirms that when God joins something together, something powerful happens that mere man can never separate or put asunder to.

God’s spirit is the only guarantee that we will have what it takes to experience selfless love, to confess, to sacrifice cheerfully, to give without cause and to forgive one another.

I am not preaching that marriages between people of different belief systems always end up failing, or that simply calling yourself or being a “Christian” is an assurance that we will make good choices in our marriage or that we will be excluded from divorce.

But when both partners in marriage agree to the will of God and allow HIS spirit to work 100% of the time, HE equips them with the power and will to say no to their sin and flesh rather than being controlled and forcefully ruled by it.

Never fall into the trap of allowing your fear drive you into the arms of someone with whom you can’t every inch of your life with. God calls and allow us to make relationship choices in our lives based on faith and not out of fear.

The faith that God is good, ever faithful and that His great plan for our lives is worth waiting for. Now that you know why a Christian dating a non-Christian is such a big deal: Don’t settle for anything less! Think BIG, think GOD!

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